Mark’s Review:

Even though most of their programming revolves around reality competitions for the next Hawaiian Tropic Girl or Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader, I surprisingly never watch the channel HDNet. So, it’s anyone’s guess on how I stumbled upon this concert while flipping through channels, but I guess when you see Rob on a Harley, you stop and take note. I had high hopes, because the last time I caught a concert on this channel, it was Megadeth’s Blood in the Water, which was unreal in sight and sound. The Priest concert was about an hour long and features the 4 original members and Scott Travis cranking out British Steel in it’s entirety, along with a few other choice hits. The show was taped in Florida during last summer’s tour to commemorate the 30th anniversary of the album, which is astounding when you think about it. Now, I’m of the belief that British Steel is not the best Priest album, but I was eager to hear live renditions of some of the deep cuts. Overall, the show looks and sounds fantastic, and if you’re willing to put up with the shortcomings that time and age have bestowed on a heavy metal icon, then it’s a very satisfying Priest experience.

The concert is filmed in full HD glory, and although the thought of seeing K.K. Downing in 1080p is frightening, the presentation does an outstanding job at capturing the intense light show as well as the interesting costume choices made by the band. The camera work and editing of the show is also great. We catch every Scott Travis drum fill, Glenn Tipton pick slide, and Ian Hill… well, just standing in the back being Ian Hill. But the element that stands out is the sound, especially from the guitars. That over-driven, synth-like distortion generated from the twin guitars comes through so bold and loud, every song is made heavier and better from it. The sound is so metal, and so Priest, and they use it to their advantage to thicken up typical borefests like United and Living After Midnight. It’s amazing to me how Downing and Tipton don’t get more respect in the guitar and metal community. Maybe it’s because there are two of them, or that Rob is really the figurehead of the band, but their playing is effortless and flawless during the concert. The fact that they’ve been able to adapt and mold their signature sound to remain heavy while retaining the vibe of the early days should also be saluted. Some may say Rob’s return to the band gave them a new spark, but I firmly believe that without Scott Travis the band does not have the same power or longevity. He’s the ultimate metal drummer and the perfect backing pulse for the rest of the band.

Which brings us to Rob, who is showing that singing in his range is a very hard thing to do night after night when you’re almost 60 years old. I’ve seen Rob on the past few Priest tours, and although he’s using more effects to stretch his signature wails and screams, he still delivers. I’m sure they needed to tone down some of the effects for post-production on this concert, but he seems to play it very safe, avoiding all higher notes in fear of having a voice crack immortalized on film. Usually this isn’t a bad thing, but during You Don’t Have to Be Old to Be Wise, and Hell Patrol, the songs feel a little incomplete because they miss these dynamic vocal moments. The Ripper is pretty bad without these high notes, and when compared to the legendary performance on Unleashed in the East (quite possibly the best “Rob note” ever) it’s laughable. Also, while the other members have stayed in relatively good shape, Rob seems to have packed on at least 50lbs. He wears layers of denim and leather to cover his now-massive gut, and he stumbles around the stage in a way that he might think is menacing, but in reality is unintentionally humorous. I understand that icons get old and things happen, but Rob’s leaving himself open for criticism since he started referring to himself as “The Metal God“.

The concert is airing all week, and HDNet has a cool website that allows you to search for this show and add it to your Google Calendar. It’s definitely worth a viewing for the camera and sound quality alone. Just make sure you understand you’re getting 2010 Rob, not the one from the Breaking the Law video.

Mark’s Rating:

King says: “Oh, hi Rob… sooooo, um… having trouble hitting those high notes eh? hmmm… yeah… that’s tough… kinda sucks doesn’t it?… oh well. ttyl.
- KD”

God damn… getting old sucks.

It’s been a long time since Riki Rachtman went skydiving with Megadeth, and honestly, mainstream metal programming hasn’t fared well since (sorry Jamey… it just wasn’t the same). So in theory, the prospect of a new metal talk show (featuring guest interviews, trivia, round table discussions, heated debates, etc) sounds pretty badass. Well… leave it to VH1 to take that concept and water it down (ie: piss on it) to the point where watching even 5 minutes seems like a chore. To call That Metal Show trite is almost an understatement, as there’s basically nothing “metal” about it whatsoever. (Is it me, or does the set look like a smoking lounge at the Playboy Mansion with a few Motorhead albums laying around?)

TMS suffers from a plethora of issues, but to make a long story short (too late!), it’s just plain stale. Stale format, stale jokes, stale guests and worst of all… stale metal. I shit you not, I’ve watched (suffered) through at least 8 episodes, and the most modern band I’ve heard mentioned was Slipknot. Uh… what? Yep… that’s the kind of rip-roaring metal commentary you can expect to find on TMS. Now, forgive me… I understand that it is VH1 we’re talking about here, but unless you really give a flying fuck about what the former guitarist for U.F.O. is up to these days, you might be better off watching John & Kate Plus Eight; because that’s easily more riveting (and more metal).

Despite the lack of tr00 klvt being found in the same stratosphere as TMS, what makes it even more unbearable are co-hosts Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson. With such impeccably poor comic timing, it’s difficult to tell if they actually write their own jokes or just leave it up to the interns at VH1. The only original material these two losers can seem to come up with is some variation of the words “Eddie Trunk” and “pie” being used in the same sentence. Eesh. But that’s not all… a recent episode featured both Florentine and Jamieson committing the most blasphemous act imaginable in the world of metal… admitting to preferring “Nü-tallica” to “Old-tallica”. If that’s not cause for getting the show canceled outright, I don’t know what is.

As I’m sure you could’ve guessed by now, the interviews are pretty much a disgrace as well. At least half of the guests that I’ve seen on TMS (Lita Ford, Yngwie Malmsteen, Ace Frehley, Gary Cherone) make Ghaal seem more poignant than Barack Obama. “Tea with Lemmy?” Are you kidding me? Who comes up with this shit?

If TMS does have one redeeming quality, it’s that for 22 minutes a week, old dudes like me can feel young again.

If you’re a television sadist, TMS airs on VH1 Classic on Saturdays at 11/10C… right about the time that their target audience is hitting the local karaoke bar to belt out some Creed tunes.

Justin’s Rating:

King says: “This show stinks worse than the seat of Grandma’s rocking chair.”

Mark’s Review:

I’m going to cut to the chase: VH1 Classic’s That Metal Show isn’t just an insult to metalheads everywhere, but it’s pretty much an abomination of basic cable television programming. Watching the show is like enduring a Bataan Death March through some of the worst joke-writing, on-air banter, and canned comedy bits this side of Public Access. I’d rather suffer a good, longwater-boarding than watch comedians Jim Florentine, Don Jamieson and radio host Eddie Trunk, “talk metal”, but apparently, the brass at VH1 and Viacom think this is the cutting edge of underground culture. What results is a giant pile of shit that makes Heavy Metal and those who love it look incredibly stupid.

There’s so much wrong with this show, it’s hard to know where to start. Florentine and Jamieson shoehorn painfully lame jokes into every interview, and when they’re not doing that, they’re dropping worthless nuggets of information about old Accept or Kix records (ie: shit no one cares about). The interviews with metal stars such as Lemmy, Geoff Tate, Lita Ford and Mike Portnoy are hurried in order to awkwardly segue into the next pre-taped, cheesy bit. Even the editing is shitty! Every episode features several drawn-out shots of one of the hosts staring into space, chin-fucking the guest while they speak off-camera. The worst part of TMS is by far Trunk, who has somehow parlayed his gig as a sub-par DJ into this. (Editor’s note: Nice glamor shot Eddie… so totally Metal!!!)

Trunk acts as the “People’s Spokesperson for Heavy Metal”, but his lack of knowledge and disregard for preparation are an embarrassment to anyone who’s ever listened to Ride the Lightning. No where is this more apparent than the extremely awful segment “Stump the Trunk“, where the studio audience gets to ask “metal trivia” questions in an effort to win crappy grab-bag prizes brought out by what I assume is a tranny dressed as Tawny Kitaen . First off, Trunk is unable to answer probably more than half the questions asked, and the ones he does answer all have to do with Kiss, UFO or Scorpions. Second, the viewer is forced to watch Trunk’s sweaty, blotchy face stammering through his replies as Florentine drags out wave after wave of loser, each one uglier and more nervous to be on camera than the previous. These audience members seem to be hand-picked and outfitted by VH1 to look the part of a metalhead. Many feature terrible tattoos, torn jean jackets, faded Kreator shirts or Zubaz.

I think the aspect of TMS that irks me the most is how they paint the metal fan as a complete moron. In the minds of the TMS producers, every metalhead wears a faded leather jacket with studs, is still rocking to WASP, and quit his job cause his boss just didn’t “get” his rebel lifestyle. So, pretty much the complete stereotype of the All-American Imbecile. Also, the guys on TMS feel like they have to explain every detail to the viewer about the topic at hand, expecting them to know nothing about typical metal facts and information. Hey VH1, maybe Trunk and the rest of the staff know nothing, but we do. Many people did not like the Riki Rachtman-hosted Headbanger’s Ball, but at least he treated the audience with respect, and assumed you had a passion for what is new and a knowledge of your metal history. That Metal Show is an out-of-touch and ridiculous reminder of what people still think Heavy Metal is, and it’s broadcast is a waste of airtime and technology.

Mark’s Rating:

King says: “Zero metal = Zero makeup.”