Editor’s note: The days of tape-trading are long gone, but that doesn’t mean the bands of yesteryear should be doomed to garage sales and memory boxes. Where I come from, the early 90s were rife with area metal, and though I may have been too young and “grunge” to appreciate them then, I figure it’s time they receive their due. So… from time to time, we’re going to be profiling some of the Midwest’s long-lost metal bands, and helping you rediscover what you might’ve missed.

Like most people who heard the name “Demented Ted” back in the early 90s, I instantly wrote the band off as some sort of joke… more than likely made up of pimple-faced teenagers who played half-assed-party-thrash.

It wasn’t until a few months ago and 5 hour conversation about metal with my buddy Bill (who is practically a Death Metal Encyclopedia on his own), that I actually heard Demented Ted; and WOW… did I ever judge the book by the cover. I know I am not alone in thinking that the band probably would’ve done a lot better for themselves with a name that more suited their crushing blend of Death/Thrash.

Ah well… their debut full length “Promises Impure” nicely sums up 90s Death Metal (in the vein of Death), and can still be purchased for dirt cheap.

As to where these guys are today is a bit of a mystery… some sites have members going on to play in a band called Beyond, while Wikipedia mentions ties to early 2000s Chicago Nü Metalers From Zero (I call bullshit on that one).

Either way… put your “shitty band name” judgments aside and check out Demented Ted.

Have A Listen:

Demented Ted – Existence Lies Beneath:

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Mark’s Review:

It’s been a long time since Danzig was more than just a punchline for hipster comedy.  And while the internet is partially to blame in crushing Glenn’s evil image by displaying him mowing his lawn and getting punched-out backstage by angry supporting acts, the fact that he hasn’t released good music since How the Gods Kill doesn’t help.  So going into his new album, the annoyingly-spelled Deth Red Sabaoth, I realized that although I really wanted Lucifuge, I shouldn’t be surprised if I got Blackaciddevil instead.  Luckily for Danzig fans, the album does not sink that low, in fact it manages to conjure some of the dirty, gothic soul we’d expect from “Evil Elvis”.  I wouldn’t say Danzig is back, but after a long hiatus, Deth Red Sabaoth is a welcome surprise.

It’s not all perfect, but there are a number of tracks that sound like unreleased songs from the early days.  The first, Hammer of the Gods hits hard and from the intro riff to the epic, sing-along chorus, it’s something fans have been missing for years now.  The second, The Revengeful, is definitely a toe-tapper despite it’s over-driven guitar riff.  Plus, any song that features the lyric, “I got a bed of human skulls” has to gain some extra points.  Night Star Hel continues Glenn’s problems with spelling, but the ending riff and driving ride cymbal groove powerfully as if we were all still in a dirty black summer.

The unintentional comedy of the video for I’m the One always soured what was a great song and the lyrical cheesiness of Ju-Ju Bone might do the same.  It’s your typical blues-driven Danzig fare, but if it were a bit more stripped down and inspired video of Glenn brooding and crooning on the front porch of a broken-down shack it would probably be more successful.

My main beef with the album is that the overall tones are a little off and it does become distracting at times.  What one might consider a “dirty” sound can sometimes be interpreted as just plain “bad” and the guitars are often TOO over-driven for the mix.  It seems like there was no mastering done as sometimes Glenn’s voice, the drumming and the guitar all fluctuate.  Also, the inclusion of double bass drumming on Rebel Spirits and Black Candy sound out of place, and worse, out of touch.  This type of drumming was never necessary for Chuck Biscuits, and it ruins the vibe that made early Danzig so great.  Are these issues enough to bury this album alongside 6:66 Satan’s Child?  No, in fact, I think for true Danzig fans, Deth Red Sabaoth will be hailed as a return to form.  The album might not get as many plays as the first four masterpieces, but it reminds us of what we loved about Glenn and his unique approach to music.  Plus, the picture of him with a naked chick on the inside of the album is worth the purchase alone.

Mark’s Rating:

King says: “Glenn, you have a bed made of skulls?  I just put the matching armoire on Craigslist, we should talk!”

Justin’s Review:

I’m going to cut to the chase here… Deth Red Sabaoth is the Danzig album you’ve been wanting for years. The rockers… the crooners… the pinch harmonics… the stripper anthems; Deth Red Sabaoth has it all (including possibly one of the worst guitar sounds ever put to tape). Despite that little nugget of injustice (seriously Glenn… stick to songwriting… producing is not your bag), DRS is definitely a return to form for everyone’s favorite mesh-shirt-wearing-jongleur.

While never really closing in on “Instant-Classic” territory, the majority of the tracks are memorable, and feature enough variety to keep things fresh and interesting. Kickoff track “Hammer of the Gods” features a smattering of classic Danzig traits and a nice doomy break that wouldn’t sound out of place on an early Trouble record. “The Revengeful” lays the guitars on pretty thick (one of many tunes that comes oh-so-close to overusing pinch harmonics & Tommy Victor wank-solos), but still manages to keep it together and enjoyable. “On A Wicked Night” marks the first single off DRS and despite it’s power-ballad leanings… is an incredibly well-writen song. I have visions of The Cult performing this and not losing a step. As Mark so accurately points out, “Ju-Ju Bone” waltzes unapologetically into cheese-land… yet still manages to win me over completely. Actually… that could probably be said for 90% of this record. Hell… 90% of all (good) Danzig records.

I first heard Deth Red Sabaoth a few weeks ago, and I’ve found myself doing attempting at least 3-4 Danzig impressions every day since. I think it’s a sign that this album’s pretty good.

Cover art kicks ass too.

Justin’s Rating:

King says: “Hey Glenn… when are we gonna do that duet we’ve always talked about?”

Have A Listen:

Danzig – On A Wicked Night:

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Happy 4th everyone! We’ll be back with new reviews just as soon as we recover from having our fingers blown off with M-80s.